Money Mistakes & Self-Compassion

I ask myself one question as I tear through my closet in search of something to wear in the mornings: will a 20-minute tumble in the dryer be enough to get this garment wrinkle-free?

I never learned how to iron clothes to an acceptable standard. To compensate for this, I mainly choose clothes that can be tumbled straight or steamed. Having branded more than a couple of pairs of pants with a permanent indentation of a hot iron, I have learned that it’s best to leave the ironing to the professionals.

When I think of things I wish I would have learned as a kid, ironing is definitely on that list. I can think of a few other things that would've been good to know before I struck out on my own, and I'm not the only one. Google ‘adulting’ and you’ll find long lists of skills today’s grown-ups wish they would’ve learned sooner. Skills like cooking, basic home repairs, first aid and, of course, money management.

Knowing these things pays dividends in adulthood, but the expectations around building these skills are different. Nobody expects you to ‘just know’ how to repair your garbage disposal, but for reasons that have yet to be explained, people expect you to ‘just know’ how to manage money.

Money management is a learned skill. You don’t get good at it without a bit of education and a lot of practice. Most of us never received a money education at school or at home. We’ve picked up what we know about managing money through observation, trial, & error. Yet, because money plays such an outsized role in our lives, we often feel shame when we don’t automatically know how to best manage our finances.

For anyone struggling with shame about how you manage money, I would like to invite you to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for what you did not know to do. Forgive yourself for what you knew not to do and did, anyway. So many wellness journeys start with a little self-compassion. Your financial wellness journey is no different.